A Half Century of Life

Pearl Jam is screaming out of my speakers as I contemplate the reality that today, I’ve been on this big blue marble for half a century. It is only a grain of sand in the universe, but for this New Hampshire kid, it is pretty damn amazing.

December always finds me overly reflective. Work winds down, holiday music plays everywhere, and my birthday arrives. I’ve been worried about this December, but the reality is that I’m good with turning fifty. Much better than I was when I turned forty.

Laura hates me saying this, but ten years ago, my mortality worried me. Would she and the kids be ok? Did I have more ahead or behind me?

There is a strange comfort in realizing that when you are gone, you no longer know. But I know my family will be okay because while they are still figuring things out, they are old enough and strong enough to get through anything.

These last ten years went differently than planned. Several significant starts and stops. Epic losses and gains. A global pandemic. A complete shift in my career. But here I sit, happier and healthier than I have been in a long time, and for that, I’m thankful. After all, the journey changes you, right?

At this point, do I measure time in decades rather than years? I know you begin to notice birthdays on the fives after you turn twenty-one. Now, will it be the tens? I wonder.

We’ll order a ton of tacos from a local taqueria tonight, and I’ll make a bucket of margaritas. The neighborhood will come over for a casual celebration. Some wanted a bigger gathering, but this time of year is tough enough on everyone, and I hate planning the logistics of a party. We can have one next summer when another milestone is reached.

Life is in a constant flow of change, and the older I get, the clearer that becomes. We can set resolutions and make wishes, but the only guarantee is how little control we have over things. The last few years have taught me to focus on what I can directly influence and what is closest to me. It was the only way I stayed sane since 2016.

2024 and the forthcoming decade will be one of even more changes. Your guess is as good as mine, and I’m not going to make any predictions. Next year, there is a possibility of visiting a new country and starting a new book. Will either happen? Only time will tell.

If you are reading this, thank you for being part of my life. It brings me more joy than I can express to have the friends and family I do around the globe. I don’t see many of you as often as I used to, but please know that if you are ever in my corner of the world, I’ve got time for you, so please say hello.

It's time to see what being a quinquagenarian is all about.